Kat's Book of Random Tales!
by YamiYugi100
Summary: Bring two insane girls together, boredness, and the entire vk crew, and you got yourself one hell of a story! R&R WARNING: Contains insanity, Oocness, underwear, chicken costumes, swearing, bazookas, and much much more!
1. Chapter 1

OMGUH I'M IN A RANDOM MOOD TODAY!! :D :D SO HERE'S A RANDOM FIC ABOUT RANDOM STUFF!!!!

Kat's Book of Random Tales!!!

Part I: What Happens when Parent's aren't Home

1

Two Girls, One Cell Phone, Zero's Phone Number

Kat: "Oh Ashleyyyy!"

Bounces in with her cell phone

Ashley: "Oh whatyyyy?"

Lays on the couch, apparently very bored.

Kat: grins widely and holds up cell phone "I found a cell phone on the streets!!! And guess whose phone number it has in it?

Ashley: "THE MUFFIN MAN?!"

Kat: Stares at call list "Okayy, guess again!"

Ashley: "I dunno….La Cuca Racha?"

Kat: "Nope!" presses speaker phone and dials a number

Ashley: "What are you getting at?"

Phone: "Yo?"

Ashley: o.O

Kat: ^_^

Ashley: Hangs up "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET A PHONE WITH ZERO KIRIYUU'S NUMBER IN IT?!!!"

Kat: "Well, I saw this guy in a clown suit and he asked me to follow him so we went down this dark alley and…"

Ashley: "Uh, never mind, I don't think I wanna know…" Stares at phone wide eyed.

Kat: Holds up script "Just follow these lines." Dials phone

Phone: "Hello?

Ashley: "Hello, this is American Express calling you about your credit card debt."

Phone: "What?"

Kat: "It seems you've overused your card and you are in debt by about….."

Ashley: "5 billion dollars"

Kat: "5 billion and 6 dollars"

Ashley: "And 37 cents."

Phone: "WHAT THE *&%^?!" Person drops phone, shouting comes.

Kat+Ashley: Giggles

Phone: "HOW THE HELL DID I DO THAT?!"

Ashley: "Apparently someone under the name of Yuuki Cross used it?"

Phone: …………….hangs up

Kat+Ashley: Laugh uncontrollably

Ashley: "What shall we do now?"

Kat: Scrolls down list. "Ooo! There's Kaname's phone number in here!"

Ashley: "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! DAIL IT!"

They discuss what they will do next.

Kat: "Are you clear on the plan?"

Ashley: Clears throat "yes I am." Has man voice.

Kat: "Excellent!" Laughs evilly and dials Kaname's number.

Phone: "Hello?"

Ashley: "I LOVE YOU! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUHT YOU! I'M HAVING YOUR CHILD! COME HOME!!"

Phone: "WHAT THE *&#%?!" Hangs up.

Kat+Ashley: Laugh uncontrollably and die for a minute.

~~~Meanwhile at cross academy~~~

Yuuki: "ZERO! I DIDN'T USE YOUR CREDIT CARD!" Is hanging by the chandelier

Zero: "GET DOWN HERE! GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!" Wave's chainsaw around

Chairman: "What is all this hullabaloo?" Walks in wearing a chicken outfit.

Yuuki: o.o "What are you wearing Chairman?"

Chairman: "I'm auditioning for the chicken ballet!" Strikes ballet pose "AND CALL ME DAD!"

Yuuki: "No."

Chairman: "Ehhhhhhh" T^T

~~~IN the Moon Dorm~~~

Aidou: Comes in holding an ice cream sundae

Kain+Ichijo+Shiki: Staring at Kaname

Aidou: "What's all the ruckus abou…….."

Kaname: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Is running in circles freaking out

Shiki: "What do ya think happened?"

Ichijo+Kain: "I dunno shrug."

Aidou: Is staring at Kaname with the spoon in his mouth

Kain: "I hope he's……hey is that vanilla?" Looks at sundae

Aidou: "Yep" =3

Ichijo: "Oo! I want some!"

Shiki: "Me too!"

They ignore the freaking out pureblood and glomp each other for ice cream. Then zero storms through the doors in a platypus costume!

Aidou: Stops fighting o.o "Kiriyuu, what. The hell. Are your wearing?"

Zero: crosses arms "This is my freaking out costume!"

Shiki: "Platypuses are so last season."

Ichijo: "It's platapi."

Everyone: "SHUT UP ICHIJO!"

Kaname: "PHONE CALLS! MEN! BABIES!!"

Everyone: o.O

Yuuki: Falls through the roof in a squid costume "Hi! What I miss?"

WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WHO WILL WIN? WHY IS YUUKI IN A SQUID OUTFIT?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON KAT'S BOOK OF RANDOM TALES!!


	2. Chapter 2

Kat's Book Of Random Tales!!

Part I: What Happens When Parent's aren't Home!

2

Two Girls, One Phone, Zero's Phone Number Part 2

Aidou: Stares at Yuuki.

Shiki: 0.0 "OMG! A COSTUME PARTY!" Runs off

Kain: "What the f…."

Shiki: "I'M NOW PROPERLY DRESSED!" Comes down in a pony costume! "Let the party begin!"

Rima: Walks in and stares at Shiki. "Oh, I didn't know we had be dressed." walks away and comes back in a doughnut costume with an aphro on

Kain: Looks around "Eh, why not" Goes up and comes down in bunny costume

Aidou: Is rolling on the floor laughing

Ben Stiller suddenly walks into the room with Octavius and Rexy.

Octavius: "I RIDE THE FEARCEST OF ALL CREATURE! I RIDE. THE SQUIRREL!!!"

Aidou: o.O "AIEEEEEE!!!" Runs away from the squirrel

Yuuki: "Hold on! Let me get the radio!" Gets radio and plays music.

Kain: "Hey, what kind of music is this?"

Yuuki: "Oh! Its my 80's chase music!"

Octavius: "GET THE BLOND ONE!"

Squirrel attacks Ichijo.

Octavius: "NO THE OTHER BLOND ONE!"

Ichijo: "There were. So. Many. Nuts…."

Kaname: hyperventilating wearing a clown suit "PIES. BABIES. PIES. BABIES."

Zero: slaps Kaname

Kaname: "Thanks, I needed that."

Kaname hugs Zero.

Zero: "What the ^&*$!!! GET OFF OF MY YOU *&%*^* PUREBLOOD!"

Ichijo: "Hehe, this is kinda like an abridged series!"

Everyone: "SHUT UP ICHIJO!"

Kain: Looks at radio player and plays CD

Cd: "I'M AN UGLY GIRL! MY FACE MAKES YOU HURL!!"

Kaname grabs microphone

Kaname: "SAD I HAVE IT! I SHOULD BAG IT! ACNE EVERYWHERE! UNWANTED FACIAL HAIR!" Suddenly grows a beard.

Yuuki: "Hey Kaname! You look good in a beard!"

Maria: "BEERRRRRR!!" Runs around with a beer keg next to her

~~With Ashley and Kat~~

Ashley: "Hmm, I wonder what they're doing…LETS CALL THEM!"

Kat: "Okay!" Dials phone number.

Phone rings

Phone: "HELLO! LISTEN! I'M BEING CHASED BY A RABID SQUIRREL! SEND IN THE AUTHOROTIES!!"

Ashley: "Uh…we must speak with Ben Stiller."

Kat: "I got chased by a killer muffin once, I feel your pain…"

Phone: "okay!"

Phone: "Hello this is Ben Stiller?"

Ashley: "We have to speak with Kaname"

Phone: "Okay"

Phone: "IM A RELATION TO FRAKENSTINES CREATION!"

Ashley: Grins widely "YOUR SO UGLY YOU DISCUST ME!"

Kat: "Boo hoo hoo yeah!"

Kaname: "How do you know this song?"

Ashley: "I'm stalking you" in man voice "AND I'M HAVING OUR KID AT THE MOMENT!" Groans

Kat: "PUSH! PUSH!!"

Kaname: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hangs up

Kat+Ashley: Almost die of laughter

~~In Moon Dorm~~

Aidou: "AH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!" Runs in circles with squirrel on his head

Kaname: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Ruka comes in

Ruka: "OH MY POOR KANAME-KINS!" Glomps Kaname

Kaname: "Get. The. *^&*%*%^. OFF. Me."

Ruka: "BUT MY POOR KANAME IS FREAKING OUT!!" Hugs tighter

Kaname: "I'M IN LOVE WITH ZERO!!"

Ruka: T^T "your so mean! I want a divorce!"

Zero: Throws up

Kaname: "Wait, we weren't even married."

Ruka: "Uh…you remember when you were knocked out for that long period of time?"

Yagari Toga and Chairman walk in both wearing chicken costumes.

Yagari: "I AM THE BEST CHICKEN DANCER!"

Chairman: "HA! AMETURE! I AM! WATCH THIS!" Dances ballet

Yagari: Does the same.

~~With Kat and Ashley~~

While Kat and Ashley are laughing, a Genie lamp pops out of thin air and lands on Kat's head.

Kat: "Ouch! What's in this thing? Bricks?" Rubs it.

A very fat Genie appeard.

Kat: "Oh, that's why it was so heavy!"

Ashley: snickers

Genie: "Your wish is my command."

WHAT WILL THEY DO? DOES ZERO RETURN HIS FEELINGS FOR KANAME? WILL MOOSHOO EVER REGAIN HIS PIE?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON KAT'S BOOK OF RANDOM TALES!!


	3. Chapter 3

I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE KNIGHT! SADNESS!!  LE BOO

Kat's Book of Random Tales!

Part I: What Happens When Parent's Aren't Home!

Chapter 2: Your Wish is My Muffin

Genie: "You wish is my command young masters, you have 3 wishes to choose from." Bows

Kat: "3 wishes? I wish we had known that earlier!!"

The clock goes back 1 minute.

Genie: "Now you have 2 wishes."

Ashley: Glares at Kat

Kat: ^^ "Hehe…oops…"

Ashley: "ALL YOUR FALT! I GET THE NEXT WISH!"

Kat: T^T "Fine."

Ashley: "Let me put my thinking cap on!" Puts on graduation cap with light bulb on it. "I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Oo! I have a good one!"

Kat: o.o "Ohhh…dear…"

Ashley: "I wish…" creepy music plays, "Kat! Turn that off!"

Kat: Turns CD player off "Fine…"

Ashley: "Anyway…ahem…I wish…WE WERE IN VAMPIRE KNIGHT!"

Kat: Presses a button and applause fill the room.

Ashley: "Oh, and I also wish for an anvil to hit her in the head!" ^_^

Kat: "….I hate you…" anvil slams down on her "ouchieness…X_X"

Genie: "Your wish WAS my command" pulls out a pack of dusty stuff.

Ashley+Kat: "Hey is that pixie dust? AHHH!" Some lands in their eyes and they blackout.

~~Meanwhile in Cross Academy~~

Rose: "Hmm, bored bored bored bored…" Is holding a pack of C4 and looking at it curiously and thinking, 'Hmmm…I wonder…' "WHAT THE CHEESCAKE?!" Looks down at two girls.

Girl 1: "Aww…are we in?"

Girl 2: "No…no we're not…That Genie was a complete fake and we've been whisked off to American Idol…grab the karaoke machine…"

Girl 1: "I didn't bring it with me." ^_^

Girl 2: "What? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PACK!"

Girl 1: "Well excuse me if the Genie gave us no warning!"

Rose: "Ahem? As much as I'd love to listen to you bickering all night, who are you?"

Girls: Put on darth Vader mask "You're worst night mare…ksssshh hooo."

Rose: "….No really, j-just tell me."

Girl 1: "Nope, sorry, that info is classified!"

Girl 2: "Top secret! Hushidy hush!"

Few minutes of silence…which is very rare

Rose: Pulls out C4 "Tell me or answer to my random explosions."

Girls: "hehehe ^^"

Girl 1: "Don't let her make you crack, be strong."

Girl 2: "I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!!!" faints.

Girl 1: Looks down, "Way to go genius. Well then, I'm Kat and that dork is Ashley."

Girl 2: "I REJECT THAT!" Faints again

Kat: "I rest my case."

Rose: "Oh…okay then!" Puts C4 away, "I'm Rose Rondo, pureblood second in command and Queen of Random Explosions!"

Kat: "Pleasure to meet you."

Ashley: "Meat? WHERE?! I WANT MY MEAT!"

Kat: "Focus, FOCUS!"

Ashley: "Sorry, where are we anyway?"

Rose: "Why you're in Cross Academy! Home to human day class students and vampire night class students!" Covers mouth "Oops, I really shouldn't have told you that."

Kat+Ashley: Look at each other "WHOLLY CHEESCAKE ON A WRAP OF BALONEY!"

Rose: "Um…ew."

Kat: Grabs Rose by the shoulders "YOU'RE LYING! TELL ME YOU'RE LYING!"

Rose: Holds up C4. "The bombs do not lie."

~~Kaname walks in~~

Kaname: "Rose, who are these people?"

Rose: "Oh, um this is Kat," points to Kat

Kat: "Hiya!" Waves and grins "…Have any cookies?"

Rose: "Later, and that's Ashley."

Ashley: "I'M YOUR CHILD!" Jump into Kaname's arms "Daddy!"

Kaname: "WHOLLY &(&^(^ ^&*&^^%%^ ON A PILE OF *%$$&# BALONEY!...*^%#$." Throws Ashley off of him and curls into fetal position

Rose: "Uh...Kaname?" pokes Kaname "Kaname?"

Kat: Throws a bucket of water on him and slaps him "GET IT TOGETHER MAN!"

Rose+Ashley: "Were did you get the water?"

Kat: "The unicorn fish gave it to me from the pond of heavenly wonders!"

Rose: 0.o "…Really?"

Ashley: "Don't believe her; she does it all the time."

Kaname: Stands and glares at Ashley

Ashley: "I think your perty." Stares at him with pretty eyes.

Rose: "Ahem….anyway, they know about vampires…" looks over "NOT BECAUSE I TOLD THEM! I MEAN! PHSSSHHH, FAH, WHY WOULD I TELL THEM?!"

All the night class comes in randomly.

Aidou: Stares at Ashley and hearts form in his eyes. "Hello!" Jumps over to her and wraps his arms around her neck "Who are you? Where did you come from?"

Ashley: Looks at him with chibi face "Awww your so cu….GET THE HELL OFF ME!" pushes him off

Shiki: Looks at Kat with hearts in his eyes. "Uh…hi."

Kat: Looks at him critically "….I don't like you." Walks behind Ashley

Aidou+Shiki: Fall over with tears in their eyes.

Rima: thinks 'Yay, she doesn't like him! This could be a once in lifetime chance to…'

Kaname: "Since they're incredibly insane…they're bunking with you Rima."

Ashley: "Naw, I wanna bunk with Ichijo." Stares at him.

Ichijo: "Uh……Kaname?"

Everyone: "SHUT UP ICHIJO!"

Kat: "I wanna bunk with Kain!" Look at him with angel halo on head.

Kain: Looks at her and blushes

Rima: "WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!"

Kaname: "You were born; now get to your room."

Kat+Ashley: "All right!" Carry luggage they suddenly have out of nowhere.

Rima: Grumbles and shows them.

Night class looks on at us.

Shiki: "I like Kat…"

Aidou: "I like Ashley…"

Kain+Ruka: "To bad they don't like you back."

Aidou: "But I think someone likes Kat too." Stares at Kain menacingly.

Kain: Glares "Don't make me burn your hair off."

BLAH BLAHBAKHBAOEHTOGABHERUOA!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!! I DONE ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

I DON'T OWN VAMPIRE KNIGHT! ….Yet….

Kat's Book of Random Tales!!

Part II: Vampire-ish Mayhem!

Chapter 3: Rima's Room

Ashley, Kat, and Rima walk into the room

Ashley: WHOLLY CHEESECAKE THIS PLACE IS GIGANTORMUS!!!

Kat: "Ashley, it's a 10 by 12 room….with 2 beds…"

Ashley: "Oh……well it's bigger than the 5 by 6 rooms we had." Shrugs

Rima: -__- thinks, 'Oh my god oh my god I have to share a room with these two? Oh my god…'

Ashley: Walks up to Rima, "To answer your question…yes…you will have to share a room with us!"

Kat: Nods "Yep yep!" ^-^

Rima: O.O "bu…I….how…wha?"

Kat+Ashley: Grin evilly.

Rima: "Now this leaves us with the dilemma of the beds…"

Ashley: "I'LL SLEEP ON THE CEALING!!"

Rima: O.O "THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!!"

Ashley: Hold up superglue "Now, when you two wake up you have to use a LONG spatula to get me down."

Kat: Pulls out long spatula "Already on it." Puts in under bed.

Ashley glues herself over Rima's bed.

Rima: "Why my bed!?"

Kat: "So if she falls she'll fall on you…" Pulls out her Ipod.

Ashley: "What the..?! YOU DIDN'T BRING MINE?!"

Kat: Shrugs and turns up music.

Ashley goes over to Kat and yells at her in chibi form

Rima: Bangs her head on her bed post.

~1 Quick unpacking later~

Kat: is laying on the bed with a Kain plushie in her arms

Ashley: laying on the ceiling with a Zero plushie in her arms

Rima: Just stares at them

Ashley: Breaks wind "OH! I FOUND MY IPOD!"

Rima: O.O

Kat: "Good for you…welp, I'm bored."

Rima: "What do you wanna do?"

Ashley: Smiles devilishly, "HEY RIMA! Let's play a game called 'let's go to the dog show!' I'll put a collar on you and make you my……"

Kat: Jumps up and covers her mouth before she can finish. "Uh...Hehe…" ^_^

Rima: Eyes Ashley suspiciously

Kat: "OOO! I KNOW! LET'S BAKE A PIE!"

Ashley: "Pies are dumb…unless you put a chicken in it!"

Kat: "chicken pot pie!"

Rima: "Wait wait wait, how are we gonna do it? She's glued to the ceiling for crying out loud!"

Kat+Ashley: Look at each other then grin devilishly and whistle loudly

A bunch of cooking items and ingredients pop into the room

Rima: O.O "you wouldn't'…"

Ashley: Nods "We would…"

~1 hour later~

Rima: Is tied to the bedpost with duck tape over her mouth.

Ashley: "ARE WE READY FOR THE FINAL INGREDIANT?!" Holds a clucking chicken over the pie

Kat: Nods "Yep! Let her drop!"

Ashley: Drops the chicken

Rima: MMMMMMM!!! (Translation: NOOOOO!)

Chicken falls in the pie and Kat quickly shoves it into the oven.

~30 minutes later~

Kat+Ashley: Sitting at a random table eating pie, the chicken still alive but naked

Ashley: Takes a bite and spits out feathers "Hmm, tastes like chicken but too many feathers."

Kat: Shove it all in her mouth and shrugs "Fine by me." Coughs up feathers.

Rima: Still tied to the bed post but knocked out.

Kat: Stares out at the sun "Hey Ashley."

Ashley: Says through mouth full of pie "Hey whaty?"

Kat: Grins "I think we're gonna like it here."

Ashley: Nods "Me too Kat…me too…Now get the spatula."

THE END OF THE CHAPTER! REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO READ THIS VERY RANDOM BOOK!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

STILL DON'T OWN VAMPIRE KNIGHT! BUT I'M WORKING ON IT!!!!! …KINDA! …SORTA!...MAYBE!...PERHAPS….NO…NOT REALLY…NO…

Kat's Book of Random Tales!

Part II: Vampire-ish Mayhem!

Chapter 4

Spongebob, Patrick, and…Barbie!!

Ashley: Drools and it lands on Rima.

Rima: Wakes up. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Ashley: Wakes up and falls onto Rima.

Kat: Wakes up. "…I told you we should've used the long lasting." Falls back asleep.

Ashley: Hugs Rima. "DOGGY! I FOUND YOU!" Superglues their hands together.

Rima: O.O

Kat: Gets their hands unglued and drags them to the kitchen for breakfast.

Ashley: "COME ROBIN HOOD! TO THE DINNER TABLE!" Bounds to the table, chocking Rima on a leash.

Rima: "gackk!!" lives.

All of the night class randomly comes down.

Kat+Ashley: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOCK PUPPETS!" Glomps them.

Ashley: Plays music and on comes 'I am a Superstar.'

Kaname: Walks down the stairs.

Ashley: Jumps into Kaname's arms. "DADDY! I FOUND YOU! I've been searching so many long years! I've finally found you mommy!"

Kaname: "AHHHH!" runs back to his room like the tea drinking sissy boy he is.

Rose: Comes down from her room. "I WAS HAVING A SWEET DREAM OF RANDOM EXPLOSIONS!"

Kat+Ashley: Smile and glomp Rose. "All hale Q.O.R.E! QUEEN OF RANDOM EXPLOSIONS!"

Aladin and his crew randomly come in.

Kat: "NO BODY MOVE! I HAVE THE MONKEY HOSTAGE!" Holds a knife to Aboo's throat.

Ashley: "Spongebob! Help mommy!"

Spongebob: "Okay!" Glomps Kaname.

Kat: runs out for a minute and comes back with Patrick. "MOMMY! I found your grandchild!"

Kaname: O.O Faints…just…faints…

Kat: Holds down Alladin and company and stares at Kaname with Rose.

Rose+Kat: "…sissy boy…"

Yuuki walks in.

Kat+Ashley: Hit her repeatedly with a cross. "BEGONE FIEND OF THE SUPPERNATRUAL PIE!"

Yuuki: X_X knocked out.

Spongebob and Patrick start dying so Ashley and Kat run up to the bathroom and fill up the tub with water till it overflows and throw them in.

Ashley: Takes the plug out. "Few! They lived!"

Spongebob and Patrick go down the drain.

Patrick: "MOMMY! I WON'T FORGET YOU!" goes down the drain.

Ashley: "T__T HE WAS SO YOUNG!!!!"

Barbie comes in holding Zero bridal style.

Barbie: "Come on Ken! Let's go play dress up!"

Zero: O.o "OMG!!! EVIL!"

Ashley: "O.O NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" hits Barbie with a pie.

Barbie: Explodes.

Ashley: slaps Zero. "ARE YOU ALIVE?"

Kat: randomly walks in eating a bar of chocolate.

Ashley: Snaps out of it and stares at Kat. "Hey…is that chocolate?"

Kat: "mmhmm…"

Ashley: "…"

Kat: "…AHHHH!" runs out of the room.

Ashley: Chases her.

Kat bumps into Shiki, who bumps into Ichijo, who bumps into Aidou, who bumps into everyone else and they all go tumbling out of the moon dorm into the night.

Ruka: Comes in and sees everything a mess. "…What I miss?"

ALL FOR TODAY! READ. REVIEW. ENJOY! ^__^


	6. Chapter 6

TAH NEXT CHAPTER!! STILL DON'T OWN VAMPIRE KNIGHT!!!! ….THEY STILL DON'T BELONG TO MEEEE!! *Cries*

Kat's Book of Random Tales!

Part II: Vampire-ish Mayhem!

Chapter 5

Rose: "…You missed a lot bitch."

Ruka: o.0 "eh?"

Corinne: strolls in "you are an idiot, aren't you????"

Everyone who fell out walks back in

Vampires: _ "owwww"

Ashley+Kat: "YAY! AGAIN! AGAIN!"

Rose+Corinne: Shakes head no

Ashley+Kat: "Who are you???"o_0 points to Corinne

Corinne: "I'm Rose's sister…"

Ashley: "She has a clone?! AHHHH!!! "

Corinne: "^^ I'm the Queen…OF RANDOM NOTHINGNESS!"

Kat: "…Q.O.R.N? …pffftt…ahahhaha!"

Ichijo: Walks in with pumpkin bread

Everyone: "BREAD OF THE PUMPKIN VARIETY!" Glomps him

Ichijo: "AHHHHH!! SAVE MEEEEE!"

Corinne: "Let me think about this- no."

Ichijo: "T^T"

Akward silence

…

….

….

Ashley: "GAY BABY!"

Ichijo: Screams and drops pumkin bread

Ashley: Eats it in one bite (and it was huge piece)

Kaname: "You…ate that huge thing in one bite?"

Ashley: "Yes I did mommy!" =3 hugs his leg and won't let go

Kaname: "AHHH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!" Wails around and shakes leg.

Ashley: "WEEEEE!"

Kat: "I wanna ride too!" Jumps on other leg.

Kaname: "TIME TO JUMP INTO ACTION!" faints

Rose: "…SISSY BOY!" Sips tea

Yami Bakura comes in

Ashley+Kat: "O.O OMG!" glomps

Bakura: "WHAT THE (&^*%^*%*?!"

Kat: "GET BACK HERE! GET BACK HERE SO I CAN MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!"

Ashley: Holds up sign saying 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' infront of screne.

Background: "AHHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" "Boom!" "MONKEES IN A TRIANGEL!" "SHUT UP ICHIJO!"

Barney comes onto screne

Ashley: "GET THE *^(&^ OUT!!!" Hits him with baseball bat

Barney: "AHHH!" disintegrates

Ashley: "OH YEAH! EPIC PONAGE!!"

Kat: Walks up and pushes the sign down

Everything is completely messed up and there is unidentifiable slime everywhere.

Kat: "What's this stuff?" Scoops some goop and sniffs it. Puts it to her mouth.

Everyone: "DON'T EAT IT!"

Kat: "Sissys!"

Kaname: "You called?!" Wakes up

Rose: Hits Kaname with a sledgehammer

Kaname: Gets knocked out again

Ashley: "YAY! MORE EPIC PONAGE!"

Rose: "HELL YEAH!" High fives her.

Yami Bakura: "Is the crazy fangirl gone?" Pokes head from chandelier.

Kat: "Yep! ^^" Sitting right next to him.

Yami Bakura: "AHHHH!" Dissapears in puff of smoke.

Kat: "T_T What I do!?"

…

…..

…….

Kat+Rose+Ashley+Corinne: "GAY BABY!"

Kat: "Hey!" Stares at button marked 'do not touch' "OO! AND OPEN INVATATION TO TOUCH IT!" Pressed the button

The moon dorm explodes.

Rose: "…Oh wait a go genius!"

Kat: "^^U…uh..hehe…I'll pay for that?"

Aidou: "I doubt that…."

Ashley: Points at Kaname "GAY BABY!"

Rose: "That is so, so, so true!"

Corinne: "…now how are we going to explain this to the headmasterrr?"

Everyone stares at Ashley and Kat

Ashley+Kat: 0.0 Point at each other "SHE DID IT!"

Corinne: "Hm…Oh I got it! LET'S BLAME IT ON KANAME!"

Everyone: "FINE BY US!"

Everyone runs off and leaves Kaname in the disintegrated pile that was once the moon dorm with a sign that says 'I did this' on his chest!

THE END TO YOU ALL! REVIEW! KISS SOMEONE! DO SOMETHING!!!!! BYE!


	7. Chapter 7

NOES! STILL NOT OWNING VAMPIRE KNIGHT!!!! SADNESS!

Kat's Book Of Random Tales

Part II: Vampire-ish Mayhem!

Chapter W/E:

Ashley: Is running in front "YEAH! MORE EPIC PONAGE!"

Kat: Skipping randomly after Ashley

Aidou: Follows Ashley closely

Ashley: Stops abrubtly and Aidou crashes into her

Everyone: Looks at their little love scene and giggles

Ashley: "I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!" punches everyone and skips along happily, Katt staring at everyone else in amazement

Kat: "FISHEHEADS! FISHEADS! ROLLY POLLY FISHEADS!"

Santa and Dumbledore: Run in and ask, "Did somebody say fish?"

Ashley: "She said fish, how did you know?" stares in awe

Katt: puts hands in pockets "Sorry, I don't have anymore fish..." looks at everyone else

Rose: "No More Monty Pythong for EITEHR of you!"

Kat: Dies "NOES! I NEED MY MONTY PYTHON TO KEEP ME SANE!"

Corinne: "You were sane?"

Ashley: "Save me a spot in Hell!"

Kat: "OMG LOOK UP IN THE SKY! IS IT A BIRD?"

Ashley: "IS IT A PLANE?!"

Kat: "NO! ITS!"

Both: "SUPER KUMQUAT!"

Super Kumquat: "HAVE NO FEAR! KUMQUAT IS HERE!" strikes heroic pose

Kat: …Eats Super Kumquat

Everyone: Twitches

Kat: ^^

Dumbeldore: "Its time for us to be off!"

Santa: "Indeed"

Both: "To the world of nothingness! AWAYYYYY!"

Both: Fade into the mist

Ashley: "Hey, wehre'd that mist come from?"

Kat: "Beats the *(^*^ outta me."

Rose: "It was just steam... "takes out a steam maker

Chairman: Walks in with cake "Hello my fine pupils!"

Yuki: "CAKE!"

Kat+Ashley: "WHOLLY *&^(& CAKE!" glomps the chairman

Rose: "oh no you dont!"

Us: growl "OUR CAKE!"

Rose: Drags all three away from cake

All Three: "NOES! OUR CAKE!"

Rose: Hands Kaname a bottle of chucklenuts "Eat these, you'll feel better."

Kaname: "Oh, thank-you Rose!"

Rose: Thinks: 'Heheh, when he dies laughing due to those chucklenuts I will be able to claim the rightful spot as Pureblood of this doorm. =)'

Kain: "Rose, why are you laughing evilly?"

Rose: "No reason….."

Kaname: Eats the chucklenuts and begins laughing his head off

Zero: Walks in while trying to clip his nails

BLAH! WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WHY IS ZERO HOLDING TONAIL CLIPPERS?! WILL I EVER REGURGITATE SUPER KUMQUAT?! FIND OUT NEXT TIEM!!!!


End file.
